Keeping Faith through a Divorce

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Keeping Faith through a Divorce

By: Bruce Mills

I know Divorce is a tough thing for people to talk about and to go through. Anyone who hasn't gone through a Divorce could not imagine how rough one can be. I try to to my best to help any friend that is going through one with what ever they need. I do feel counseling is a great thing for them to get also. I have one of my close friends who may be facing divorce and I pray daily for him and his family that they work it out. I know every situation is different and not living with someone you don't know what it is like. But I do know they both are great people and their kids are awesome also. I thought they had a really good marriage and had a strong faith in God and marriage. There has not been any Adultery or Physical Abuse, drug use or alcoholic abuse that I know of, so my thoughts are they could work through this. What does the bible say;

One of the Proverbs on Divorce in the Bible
Mark 10:5-9 in the NLT Bible
God allowed divorce as a concession to people's sinfulness. Unfortunately, the Pharisees used Deuteronomy 24:1 as a proof text for the sanctioning of divorce. Jesus explained that divorce was not God's ideal; instead, God wants married people to consider their marriage permanent. Don;t enter marriage with the option of getting out. Your marriage is more likely to be happy if from the outset you are committed to permanence.. Don't be hardhearted like these Pharisees, but be hardheaded tin your determination, with God's help, to stay together.

That said, we know that in out world, divorce is sometimes necessary (for physical survival, for well-being of children,etc.). Jesus clearly gave God's ideal for marriage in Genesis priority over Moses' permission for divorce Jesus did not cancel Moses' teaching however. For possible exceptions, see Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, where Jesus permitted divorce when the spouse had been unfaithful; and 1 Corinthians 7:15 where Paul recognized divorce when the unbelieving partner leaves the marriage. Divorce is wrong; it severs a holy union. But his holy view of marriage surely requires that divorce be a last resort to avoid greater disaster.

It's not over till it's over
I believe anything is possible. I have Faith that even if two people are divorced that they still could get back together. I have helped two couples who where living in separate houses, going through Divorce, both couples had two kids. I challenged the husbands to get their wife to watch with them the first three tapes of "Gary Smalley Relationship Series" and do the workbook assignments. Both couples watch the tapes and are back living together and still marriage to this date as far as I know.

I feel even if one spouse makes a mistake or commits adultery that they can still work it out. I feel marriage should be for good, especially when kids are involved. I know we live in a society where marriage or dating is like a microwave, if you aren't happy you just throw it out and get a new one.

I feel any couple can work it out if both are willing to work at it, willing to be the best at communicating and listening. When with kids, it should be even more of a incentive. I have a study done by Time magazine in 2001 and it showed the negative effects of divorce it has on kids. Where kids have a higher % of Divorce, problems committing in relationships, problems dealing with problems at work, etc.

I wish all couples would work at it hard and try to make it work. I wish all couples realize it is OK to have different interests, different hobbies, like different foods. Compromise is another key. Just like most restaurants will have foods for any picky eater. If one whats Seafood and one wants Steak or Pasta, most places have them all including more options like Chicken, Sandwiches and Salads. So what is the big deal. In the big picture of life it isn't how smart you are, how well traveled you are, how much money you have in the bank. All that matters is your relationships and people you touched their lives.

I know the person who wanted the Divorce may not like this blog, but I am here to help others and not be popular. I hope this does help some people and may encourage some to work harder at there relationships or marriage before giving up. Communication, listening, honesty is a big key to work on. Have fun together and go on dates weekly. I pray that my kids never go through divorce themselves. Let me know your ideas or helpful thoughts for others.