Divorce and Liberation – An Eastern Perspective

Divorce and Liberation – An Eastern Perspective

Things and situations existing outside us inherently do not have any meaning or thought associated with them. We perceive and feel them through our senses and develop a perspective towards them with the help of our minds. Sad to say, but most of the times, mind is an instrument of its immediate surroundings. Hence, we become so trapped in the notions and values so unique to our culture that it becomes almost impossible for us to think about personal experiences that transcend the way of thinking we are used to.

I am not here to talk about divorce as an expert or a scholar. Neither I profess to be some messiah or a new age guru. I am just an average brown man with a middle class background who has faced the problems of life and learnt from them as per his abilities and level of awareness. “Are you facing a divorce?” I know it must be very painful for you.

It must be really hard for you to see the things that you were taught to cherish and nurture throughout your life coming down with a crash around you. Certainly you must have thought about it a lot and chances are that your thinking may have further landed you up in a bog of utter confusion and pain. Come on, hold my hand. Let’s spend some time in the land where the sun rises and try to look at things the way a brown man sees them. Perhaps, it may help. Anyway, what is there to lose?

Do you think that the situation you are facing is particularly painful for you or that divorce is a phenomenon very unique to your times and culture only. Perhaps, you would be surprised to know that a few thousand years ago in India, there existed a man who chose to renounce his family so as to seek the ultimate liberation. In fact, he was a prince and had everything that a human could aspire for, besides a loving family, a beautiful wife and a sweet baby boy. The name of that man is Buddha. In a contemporary context, Buddha’s wife may have opted for a divorce on the grounds of abandonment. However, considering the limitations of the times, things turned out to be quite different as we know and Buddha was able to transcend this pain to achieve joy and bliss beyond comparison.

Now do not think that I am foolish enough to advise you to shave your head and give up your material assets to pursue some illusionary happiness. What I am trying to say is that isn’t the problem you are facing somewhat the same as the one that Buddha had faced. At least, at a microcosmic level. Don’t you sometimes feel trapped in your married life and think that it is inhibiting you from unfolding your full potential as a human being? Perhaps, that is why you are considering a divorce. Your feelings for your family and the possible consequences make the possibility of a separation excruciatingly painful; yet, deep down you are aware that your marriage is so bad and claustrophobic that a divorce may seem like a blessed release, at least in the long run.

There are three cardinal truths that, if imbibed, can go a long way in ensuring personal growth and enlightenment. The first is that the potential of human consciousness is infinite. The second is that there is nothing permanent except change. The last and the most important one is that deep down at the core of our existence, all of us are alone. Not all of us possess the spiritual wisdom and strength like Buddha to embrace this loneliness once and for all so as to break on through to the other side. Off and on, we need a sense of companionship and bonding to escape this loneliness. One of the reasons we marry is to satisfy this intense human tendency.

Though susceptible to human limitations, overall, a marital relationship should be such that it should give us that sense of strength and confidence to navigate our way through the mystery that we call life. On the contrary, if a marriage leaves an individual with an intense feeling of being spiritually and psychologically paralyzed, then a divorce is, not doubt, a way to liberation and bliss.

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About The Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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